Sounds great, huh? Really it’s nothing great...am talking about me and myself! Oh ya, at times i do feel like my own defense attorney. Many a time, I have to really defend myself - say regarding the way I am, the way I do things, what I do, how I live and so on...
Finding myself quite often in the minority doesn’t help! Take for example, something as simple as calling home can make people raise eyebrows. Now I don’t call home everyday. I call only when I need to. A simple thing as this puzzles many. Why? Because you are expected to stay in touch with your folks each and every day – or at least that is the norm.
I have the same issue with my choice of entertainment – any day I would choose a book over a movie and the internet (includes blogging, info search, mail, chat, etc) over the TV. As a result of which I can count the number of movies I have watched over the past few years and the same goes for the number of hours I have spent in front of the television. This again is quite incomprehensible to quite a lot of people.
And how can I forget the oft repeated question of late – “how can you stay all alone?” These days many of my pals wonder how on earth am I staying alone – the questions range from concerns about boredom to queries about managing on my own, things like how do I manage, what do I do over the weekend and so on…mystifies a many. And when I say I like it this way, the responses vary from simple shrugs to concerned queries.
Well, a girl staying on her own isn’t commonplace yet – but what’s wrong? Am sure there isn’t anything strange in it. Just because it isn’t the well-trodden path doesn’t mean something’s wrong.
I would say all these happen because people find it hard to accept something that moves away from the general trend. General perception is that something’s wrong and it should be reasoned out!!! I’ve had a number of friends who have tried to reason out things – all the while refusing to see the other side of the coin.
Thankfully, or rather quite fortunately, I have found a few people like me – like the proverbial drops in the ocean….
Friday, May 26, 2006
Thursday, May 18, 2006
It was one of those days….
I really don’t know what happened to me last evening. I left work at 8:30pm – tired and exhausted – looking forward to the comfort of this space I call home. I need to mention, I had one of those not-so-pleasant conversations earlier in the evening.
I was really trying very hard to convince someone who thinks I am convinced that I am not confused and that I am really happy. Ironically, the book am reading right now has also deals with a psychiatrist who is convinced that her patient is delusional and the patient is trying to convince her that he is not!!! In the story, he manages to convince the psychiatrist.
After a long day, this didn’t do much to make the day any better. I got out of office to a very windy Hyderabad, cooler temperature… it was quite pleasant when I got home.
After I left the doors and windows open, I felt supercharged …. I felt like a kid – singing away to glory, dancing, even spinning around only to stop and feel the ground moving beneath me…
Must be the wind…
I was really trying very hard to convince someone who thinks I am convinced that I am not confused and that I am really happy. Ironically, the book am reading right now has also deals with a psychiatrist who is convinced that her patient is delusional and the patient is trying to convince her that he is not!!! In the story, he manages to convince the psychiatrist.
After a long day, this didn’t do much to make the day any better. I got out of office to a very windy Hyderabad, cooler temperature… it was quite pleasant when I got home.
After I left the doors and windows open, I felt supercharged …. I felt like a kid – singing away to glory, dancing, even spinning around only to stop and feel the ground moving beneath me…
Must be the wind…
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Dreams…. Coming alive!!!
Today my day began pretty much the normal way...I got up earlier than I had to, and so just lay for a while reading a book, got ready - again ahead of time. So, I took the book again to read. Quite an interesting story - a doctor working on a top secret project finds his friend dead, suspects murder. There is this lady in charge of security and monitors all people working on the project. As she goes through the list of possessions found in the office of the dead man - she finds various things.... among them she finds a "cobra fang".... that made me sit upright.
You wanna know why? At that very moment I remembered a dream I'd had...rather I remember a part of it. I am looking at different fangs of a snake and at the end, I see them all combined together. That is all I remember of the dream....
Really have no idea why am having such dreams....
You wanna know why? At that very moment I remembered a dream I'd had...rather I remember a part of it. I am looking at different fangs of a snake and at the end, I see them all combined together. That is all I remember of the dream....
Really have no idea why am having such dreams....
Monday, May 15, 2006
My Newfound Freedom
Let me state it for the benefit of those who don't know it - I am on my own now. Ya, after living for more than 2 decades with my parents am out in the wild for the past few months. Not a great thing, but then it is something I am really enjoying. I started off by living in an apartment with 2 of my collegues. From the beginning of this month, I am on my own. It is a dream come true. I have always wanted to live on my own - to have my own space (not just a room!!), to own that space and do all that I want to do.
There are a few things that are incomprehensible for some people. Quite often I get questions like What do you do all day over the weekend?, do you stay quiet all day?, don't you get bored? Don't you want company? and so on...
For me, staying on my own is a great thing to do. I would rather have my own space and live on my own than live with someone else and share my space. I love to go to a silent home - a place where I can do anything I wanna do, anytime, and anyway
You might even think I am a loner - at times I do think so myself. I know that not many people can tolerate silence - or rather they can't be by themselves. They need the company of others irrespective of whether those around them are likeminded, and so on. But then, they would be likeminded coz ll of these people would not want to be left alone. I would say it is quite important to be comfortable with yourself and do things on your own. For me, that is how I think I grow - by doing things on my own and not depending on others. Does that shout Individualistic? Ya, I think that is something good.
So, when someone finds it odd that I can stay on my own, I find it odd that someone can't be comfortable being on their on their own. How can you be always dependent on another's presence? How can you not be happy with yourself?
As for me, I am enjoying my newfound freedom - enjoying to the limits...:)
There are a few things that are incomprehensible for some people. Quite often I get questions like What do you do all day over the weekend?, do you stay quiet all day?, don't you get bored? Don't you want company? and so on...
For me, staying on my own is a great thing to do. I would rather have my own space and live on my own than live with someone else and share my space. I love to go to a silent home - a place where I can do anything I wanna do, anytime, and anyway
You might even think I am a loner - at times I do think so myself. I know that not many people can tolerate silence - or rather they can't be by themselves. They need the company of others irrespective of whether those around them are likeminded, and so on. But then, they would be likeminded coz ll of these people would not want to be left alone. I would say it is quite important to be comfortable with yourself and do things on your own. For me, that is how I think I grow - by doing things on my own and not depending on others. Does that shout Individualistic? Ya, I think that is something good.
So, when someone finds it odd that I can stay on my own, I find it odd that someone can't be comfortable being on their on their own. How can you be always dependent on another's presence? How can you not be happy with yourself?
As for me, I am enjoying my newfound freedom - enjoying to the limits...:)
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
No time?
"Never say that you have no time.
On the whole it is those who are busiest who can make time for yet more,
and those who have more leisure time who refuse to do something when asked.
What we lack is not time, but heart."
- Henri Boulard
This is what I tell people when they say they have no time. I did come across something similar in a book. It goes like this "...those who are in the relatively more advanced stages of spritual growthare the very ones most aware of their own laziness" - The Road Less Travelled, Scott Peck
How true? So, the next time you think you are packed to the limit, just stop for a minute and think. Think of how much more you can do, think not of how much you are doing right now. Think of all those things that need to be done, think not of all that you have achieved.
Well, I suppose it should be like this - When you aren't happy with what you have, think of those who do not have what you do. and when you are feeling content with what you are doing right now, look at those who do a lot more and more importantly, look at how much needs to be done.
Then, am sure you would never say, "I have done so much so let me rest."
On the whole it is those who are busiest who can make time for yet more,
and those who have more leisure time who refuse to do something when asked.
What we lack is not time, but heart."
- Henri Boulard
This is what I tell people when they say they have no time. I did come across something similar in a book. It goes like this "...those who are in the relatively more advanced stages of spritual growthare the very ones most aware of their own laziness" - The Road Less Travelled, Scott Peck
How true? So, the next time you think you are packed to the limit, just stop for a minute and think. Think of how much more you can do, think not of how much you are doing right now. Think of all those things that need to be done, think not of all that you have achieved.
Well, I suppose it should be like this - When you aren't happy with what you have, think of those who do not have what you do. and when you are feeling content with what you are doing right now, look at those who do a lot more and more importantly, look at how much needs to be done.
Then, am sure you would never say, "I have done so much so let me rest."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)