The Eventful Year!

Last week when I went to worship, I found the church newsletter and picked up a copy. I found something both amusing and saddening on the first page of the newsletter.
Am producing it here with no edits:
Last year has been the most rewarding, eventful and successful period in the life and work of --- Church, .
The year has passed with creditable performance by successfully implementing most of the promises made before the election last year by the Pastorate Committee Members, who were elected to office on 31st July 2005. One year is not a long period but the Pastorate Committee has packed it with full of events realizing most of its electoral promises. The Electoral promises were converted as vision of the Pastorate Committee.
It is a success story of the Pastorate Committee, which is completing one year in office on 31st July 2006. The year in review has witnessed a number of developmental, progressive and new constructive programs for the glory of God. At the time of elections, the need of the hour was to restore peace in the Church. Accordingly, the Committee has successfully isolated litigants and un-social elements and truly restores much needed peace with the blessings and guidance of our Lord Jesus Christ, thus fulfilling the first promise made to the congregation before the elections.